things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize