TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
