how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
