drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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