WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
