just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
