doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
