he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize