Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.

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(904): View more from Florida

Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?

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(718): View more from New York

ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE

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(253): View more from Washington

I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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(714): View more from California

I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken

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(847): View more from Illinois

why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.

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