saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
