Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
