As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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