He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
