Got a toothbrush?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize