Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I love having hate sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
