maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
jump out the window naked night went bad
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