so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
