She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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