Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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