when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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