All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
