Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
