Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
