I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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