First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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