This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
