She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
