After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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