...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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