Please, let me fuck your mom
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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