you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
