I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
