John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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