Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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