I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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