He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
