We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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