I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
