Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
