Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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