I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
