i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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