So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
