dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
