Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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