dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
