GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize