they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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