i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
