My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
