Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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