just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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