I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
