I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
