i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
