wrigley field is MILF paradise
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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