i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
