just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
