Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
