i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
