so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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